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What I have learned today:

1. I need to be mindful of what I’m doing when I’m doing it. I don’t need to worry about the future or ruminate about the past. I need to breathe, and I need to remind myself of what it is where I’m at, right now.

2. I need to live now, not live for some point in the future. (As in I am HERE for you.)

3. I should stop writing should statements. 😀

4. I should also develop a sense of humor about myself.

5. Mistakes are cool. Try some out. And be okay with them. (AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

6. Look at all the cool things I am. And shut down the negative talk. (Oh, the Midwest culture doesn’t like this one. At all. But I promise. My bragging blog. Just to prove to myself I can. Sometime soon.)

7. No longer will I feel guilty for not doing what I think I should be doing, or not finishing what I think I should be finishing (work in progress here. Seriously. Work in progress)

Continue reading “Self-Improvement Homework (Type A Stretches Out)”

Jay has often talked about his story a week experiment, and I was intrigued when he went into greater detail last year at Paradise Lost. Here, Jay shares what he learned about writing during that time.

Tamago: Can you explain what the short story a week process is? It may seem obvious (ie you write a short story a week), but how did you decide when you’d done a story? First drafts? Multiple drafts? Give us an insight into the process.

Jay: My definition was a first draft complete every week. I didn’t place word count limits, so it could be anything from flash to novella length work. All I required of my self was to type “the end” by
midnight Saturday night every week. I did this for several years.

Obviously (or perhaps not) I needed to allow time for revisions, edits, workshopping, marketing stories, and so forth. But for me personally, the basic discipline of generating first drafts led naturally to those other steps.

Tamago: Why did you decide to embark on the short story a week challenge?

Jay: It was kind of an accident. In December of 2000, I decided to write a story a week for the month, as I had recently begun attending a weekly workshop, the Wordos in Eugene, OR. That was mostly an effort to kick start myself after the disruption of an interstate move to Oregon earlier that year, and the general chaos of having a small child in the house.

December went pretty well, so I set a similar goal for the first quarter of 2001. That went pretty well, so I double dog dared myself to do it for the entire year of 2001. Eventually, it just became a habit.

Tamago: Under what conditions did you complete a short story a week? For example, some writers might say, “Sure, I could do that if I wasn’t working full time?” Were you? What other responsibilities and obligations did you have? Given those responsibilities and obligations, how did you find time to complete a short story a week?

Jay: Working full time in a white collar job with a high travel commitment. Also having a pre-school age child at home at that point. So, yeah, a lot going on. How I found the time was by not watching television (I cut off my cable in 1994 when I realized it was distracting me from my ability to write), not playing console or online games (gave that up in 1998) and not going to a lot of movies, concerts, plays or parties. I stayed home and wrote whenever time allowed, and I used my downtime
for writing.

Honestly, I think most people would have plenty of time to write if they gave up an hour of television or gaming every day. Usually when I say that folks get pretty irritated with me. That is *not* a value
judgement about television or gaming. It is a comment on personal priorities.

Continue reading “Jay Lake and the Story a Week Experiment”

I am at home waiting for Frank the Tree Guy to call. One of us had to do it, and today is a day that I don’t have contact with students and the man does.

It is my secret hope that Frank will come, clear away the debris and I’ll be able to get into the office this afternoon. It is more likely that I will be at home all day. So this, this is my writing time this week. I will try to work from home a bit, and then get it together and do some research.

My fear this week is that Frank won’t get my car out in time for me to drive it to the conference in Chicago I’m presenting at on Wednesday, and tomorrow will be a scramble to rent a car.

BTW, I’m not happy about any of this. Like the rest of you, I prefer it when life goes in its accustomed manner. I had things to do at the office today that needed to be done at the office today.

Windstorms. Feh.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

So. A woman walks into a counselor’s office, and she talks about not getting to check things off her list, and how frustrated it makes her when she can’t get things done at work.

And the counselor says, “Well, change the focus of your list from what you don’t get done, to what you do get done.”

Hmmm. That works. “But,” says the woman, “what if you find all the lists competing. You know, like you plan to write, but you’ve worked hard, and you don’t get to, and that makes you feel quite poor about your lack of accomplishment.”

And the counselor says, “Well, try this. My vision of today was that I would revise chapter 12, but what I really need or want to do with my day is eat this cheese sandwich and take a nap.”

Hmmm. That doesn’t work so well for the woman, and she says so.

And the counselor asks why.

The woman suggests that while she appreciates that other people like her for just being her, in her own mind, she’s still weighing her worth against her accomplishments. And that makes her cry a little bit.

And the counselor suggests that it’s okay to slow down. He tells her to think about a mindfulness practice, like meditative walking or yoga or tai chi.

“Well,” said the woman, “I already do tai chi. I’ve mastered three forms.”

“I think I would stop that,” said the counselor. “Did you hear yourself say you’d mastered three forms? I was hoping you’d say that I have a tai chi practice.”

“You know,” said the woman, “meditating in ways only the type A can.”

***

I am to return in three weeks, and I’m to give some time and thought to these things:

1. Enjoying myself and relaxing.
2. Being in the here and now.
3. Resting when I need to.
4. Stop worrying about what I’m not doing.

I’ve had to route myself several times this weekend, but I will say that it feels a lot better listening to yourself and your needs rather than bashing yourself on the head with stress.

At any rate. Expect less.

The nature of existence is chaos.

We had a sudden wind flareup from a brief violent summer storm that took out a tree last night. The good news? No house damage, no living being damage, no car damage, no garage damage for ourselves or our neighbors. The bad news? We have a medium sized tree that we have to have taken away by the tree fairies, who usually look like overall clad men with a chipper. That is currently in the process of being set up.

And curses! Foiled again! I continue to try to save money for our roofing project, and things like tires and apple trees and storms keep happening. I’ve pretty much decided home equity loan’s gotta happen. We have so many things that we need to fix, but the most urgent?

1. Leaky roof from seams of house that split due to additions (around 6K estimate with possible underneath damage that could raise the price. Let’s try 10K)
2. Dining Room Ceiling. Dry wall is beginning to crack. Spackle is peeling off. (no idea. I’m gonna say 3K).
3. Upstairs Bathroom. Waiting forever, deciding to wait no more. I’m guessing 7K, as we must hang dry wall, and replace toilet and tub.

So, soon, after double checking these estimates, I will try to procure a home equity loan of about $25-$30K. Hurrah. After we get that paid off, we’ll move on to the other tasks and see how much we get done before we move.

I don’t know yet what this does to my projected trip to Vegas in January, but I’ll try to have that puzzled out too.

Meanwhile, this weekend, look for me in the yard doing work, checking papers, or doing household errands and clerical stuff. I’m not even going to pretend about the writing this weekend. It looks grim. Well, sometimes you have enough life, and sometimes you have more than enough life.

I hope you all have great weekends.

Once you get outside the Ennead, or the core of gods in Egyptian mythology that most of the stories seem to be about, you then get into many, many, many minor gods that perform many functions. For example? Anpu and his brother Anubis, who are gods of embalming. Bast who is responsible for temple cats. Ptah who is responsible for a variety of things, depending on the region of the country. Ammut who devours your soul if you are found wanting. The anthropomorphic Egyptian gods and numerous.

Some anthropologists feel that what has happened is that the Egyptians are great absorbers. In order to integrate their country, one way they found to do that was to absorb the regional gods into one massive religion, which might be why Ptah has a creation myth, and Ra has a creation myth. Contradictory? Only if you think about it too hard.

One of the reasons I appreciated and am using the Egyptian pantheon in the Klarion Scroll series is that there are just so many of them. I don’t have to pull out a lot of repeat names as I work with familiars.

Next research topic? Venice

Hey cats and kitties.

You might remember my very vague post about guts last week. So, here’s what we got. After the colonoscopy, which is, by the way a great way to lose about 4 pounds overnight. Scratch that. It’s actually a really horrible way to lose 4 pounds overnight. Well, after the colonoscopy, we discovered that I have a tiny ulcer in my intestines. These are usually caused by foreign bacteria (Vietnam?), and this one is already healing, thanks probably to the foresight of Dr. Banks and some antibiotics. Several biopsies were taken, and we’ll see if the weird bacteria needs another kick in the teeth. All is well. I see Dr. Qiao again in December to see how I’m doing.

So…cool. Contrary to popular belief, ulcers are not caused by stress. Which was my first fear. BUT there is this–the digestive difficulties I’ve been having should not have been caused by this teeny microscopic ulcer. The bacteria could play a role, if we find it. But stress does affect that sort of thing.

It occurs to me that around the stressful times of the semester (beginning and end) I have suffered some sort of digestive issues or breathing issues or anxiety issues for the last, oh five years. Not to over-dramatize (would I do that to you?), but the problems seem to be getting worse, not better. Pills manage anxiety, increased medication manages heartburn, and other issues of digestive function we sort of live with until they go away. This was by far one of the most stressful periods of beginning a semester, with new college rules and regulations. I cannot detach like I would hope, and I stay wound up, and ta-da! issues.

There’s a lot to unpack here. I’m going to cut this, because you know, maybe TMI or disinterest on your part.

Continue reading “Once More Unto the Breach, or Type A Rears Its Ugly Head Again”

Over on this really cool writers board that I’m on, there is a discussion about Imposter Syndrome. You know, the Syndrome where you feel that everyone else in your field is really the real deal, but you aren’t? I think this discussion resonates with EVERY artist, and of course, I have some opinions about it, and of course, I want to share them with the world. Not only do I have Imposter Syndrome, but apparently I am also an open book.

***

Do I have Imposter Syndrome? Oh yes. There are days when I feel like a Japanese anime villain and I know that my writing will be the path to world domination (mwahahahaha!!!) and other days when I know that the last thing that the world needs is another writer, or that my writing voice is not necessary, or worse not fashionable. Is my writing too influenced by Victorians or classicists to actually be relevant to a modern reader? Argh, indeed, true believers.

This is exacerbated by the fact that I am a writer of longer things. My interest tends naturally toward novels. I do crank out a short every once in a while, and these stories have been fairly well received (just one didn’t find a home, although I am the queen of small press and not pro-sales, mind). And I do crank out a middle grade every once in a while. (Hulk Hercules was bought on spec, and Abby Rath was last year.)

But what I really like are novels. Long, character driven, full of melodrama novels. I have mentioned that I was working on a five novel series, each a stand alone. And now I realize that this is longer, and I could potentially be looking at a series at least eight books long. And I don’t care about that. Because you know, this is what I want to write and what feels natural to write to me, and it might be that I am going to be the Lois McMaster Bujold of the Gothic creepy novel, and oh, well, right?

Continue reading “Imposter Syndrome”

It’s been a while, but every once in a while someone will send me a couple of updates for the Vintage Fashion Links page, or I’ll stumble across something myself.

Chris Lee was kind enough to send me the links for Modern Tailor and Dressed Her Days.

In Chris’ words, the Modern Tailor site might provide with the opportunity to customize shirts for some nice vintage styles, but I also like that there’s a little bit more for the gentlemen on this site as well. There are some vintage guys out there who need a little love.

And Dressed Her Days is another one of those awesome resource sites that just has a ton of ideas and links.

Check these out, and thanks, Chris!

And here it is…

This is Gold Gym’s Twist and Step, a compact stepper and low impact work out that I will be using from here on out while I’m in the office. It’s the same basic principle as the treadmill desk or the bike desk, except that I will obviously be stepping at my standing desk rather than walking or pedaling.

The Twist and Step gets fairly good reviews for both low intensity and high intensity working out. What I am after is a long term, low intensity workout that I can do most of the time I’m in my office at the computer. I suspect that this will help me get into shape. Ultimately, I would like something similar at home for my writing time and tv time, but right now I’m just trying it out at the office.

So, get it, a step in the right direction. 😀 I’ll let you know what I think of it after I’ve tried it out for a while.