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My Thoughts on Zen; Classes Start Tomorrow

REALLY BIG BLANK WHITE SPACE

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There. You can tell I’ve read Katagiri now.

Honestly? I think John Denver might be a zen master when he said, “Life ain’t nothing but a funny, funny riddle” in Thank God I’m a Country Boy.

Also, a link to John Scalzi’s baseball analogy for writing. Katagiri suggested that you can’t look at others. The story you write is your own. So, today, Scalzi too gets to be a bit zen.

***

The semester starts tomorrow, and Tuesday is going to be a BIG, BIG day. Four hours of teaching, lots of students, and beginning my firefighting class. I suspect I’ll be back Wednesday.

Meanwhile, we finish our directorship interviews, so I must away now to participate in that last interview. Tomorrow begins the first day of writing for an hour at work. Woot.

Viva

And speaking of Las Vegas, at this time next week, I’ll be in glorious Las Vegas for the second all ladies writers retreat. We go to Vegas, we spa, we eat, we see a show (this time, a very classy Zombie Burlesque Review that will probably rival the theatrical values of Bite, the topless vampire musical), and we write.

The first group writing retreat I went to that was privately organized was in Vegas. I thought that the organizers were crazy. You know, I snobbishly thought of writing retreats as taking place in ivy-covered brick buildings. I went because there were awesome people to see, and new people to meet. AND, by God, Vegas is a great place to have a retreat.

You see, not much happens in Vegas during the day. What an awesome way to spend your day, writing in Vegas. Of course, Vegas has some of the most decadent spas in the world, so by having a retreat where we write, rather than where we critique, we can fit that in. And then, the nightlife. Shows, shopping, restaurants, bars. It’s easy to get out and have fun, whether you want to gamble, see a show, have some wine, or hang out with friends.

Now, I kind of wish all my writing retreats could be in Vegas. I know what you’re thinking, that I’d prefer a retreat at Disney. I would not. I would be aggravated that I could not go to Disney. I know this. I’ve been to conferences in Orlando twice, once on property, and once off, and all the time, I wondered why I wasn’t at Disney.

But Vegas is perfect. I don’t gamble, I’ve done the basic sightseeing, and so I don’t envy the time I’m not doing Vegas. I really get tired of getting hit up for deals, or expanding my collection of prostitution cards, so I’m happy to stay inside until the vampires tourists come out and I can be one of them. And then, after a long day of writing, we have some fun.

I already know I’m not going next year. I’m limiting my retreats to one a year, and I’ve already promised myself to another one next year. Yet, I certainly enjoy this interesting mix of decadence and work.

On the plus side, at least next year I won’t miss the local Scottish society’s Robbie Burns birthday blowout. This’ll be the second year I’ve missed it. I’m a bad Scot.

Venice: Becoming Las Vegas

While I wait for my student interviews to begin this morning, I will try to dash off another entry about Venice.

You might remember that Venice was an incredible force to be reckoned with. The navy was a scourge to other areas, they aggressively protected their trade routes, the city supported innovation, and they were sort of pirate baron thief kings. Yeah. A trading empire. Yeah.

The economic bottom fell out in 1453. Constantinople fell to the Ottoman Turks and lands were lost to those forces, the Portuguese had opened up a new trade route around Africa that ate into Venice’s business, and the Catholic church powers challenged Venice. Venice had a few small comebacks, but overall her empire and power were in decline.

So, in the 17th and 18th century, Venice was the party town of Europe. As decay continued, many people came to Venice to play. What happened in Venice stayed in Venice. This is the time of Cassanova, and some of the most disparate behavior in the city. Napoleon shut the party down in 1797. That’s the part I know about the most, because I’ve set my story about that time frame, so we’ll talk about it next time.

Dust, My Bitter, Bitter Enemy

I did not make any big deal out of my recent battles with dust. I might have mentioned that I visited a doctor and took some steroids to try to get rid of some low level headaches, because we thought the crazy weather differential (outside -40F windchill and snow, inside 70 and dry) might have caused some sinus issues. Well, no real difference in the long run. I was having trouble with headaches, eye aches (lots of screen fatigue, and kind of a creaky, clicky right eye sometimes for mobility.) Sometimes I had congestion or a runny nose, some sneezing, some coughing. Classic ENT issues. And a little dizziness and nausea which I blamed on the headaches.

So I put off returning to the doctor for a couple of reasons:

1. I was busy at work and didn’t want to schedule it.
2. I figured they’d just tell me I was old and I would have to live with it (which is pretty much what I’ve been told about, oh, lessee, 4 or so maladies now. Yay.)

But Bryon was insistent I go, and honestly, I planned to go. There’d be egg on my face if I didn’t go, and I had some sort of tumor or growth or something. Not that I was too worried about that, which shows you how much my paranoia is ramping down these days.

***

With great glee, I can proudly report that this is something I don’t have to live with! I am, in fact broken.

I need an illustration. Hold on.

turbinate

Continue reading “Dust, My Bitter, Bitter Enemy”

Getting in Shape: End of Week 12

Thanks to the superb staff at Direct NIC for solving our little website problem. Without further adieu, yesterday’s post.

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Now it’s time for a little weight report. This was a frustrating week for me. I dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s. For the first time in several weeks, I evened out. Every point I consumed was on program, or exercised for. As such, here are some interesting stats for you.

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 1-7-14: 211 (an overall loss of .4 for the week)
Total: 12 pounds LOST

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 1-7-14: 214 (an overall gain of .2 for the week)
Total: 10 pounds LOST

And so, I thought, we enter the plateau season, when your body has to get used to the new you. So, I was not exactly down, but not exactly happy.

This is not Pam’s, the Weight Watcher leader, thoughts. Rather than supporting the plateau theory, there were three of us this weekend that lost tiny amounts, or even gained a little. Our common issue was increasing our workout. The idea is that our muscles are catching up to us, and this gain is the muscle thing, but overall that’s good.

Was Pam right? This morning’s Wii Weight was 209.7, which takes me down 1.3 from Tuesday, so Pam’s theory looks viable. We’ll see.

Working out: I’ve been working out a lot more. We have company coming this week, so I’ve been cleaning (and that’ll be the next entry, believe it), plus we just bought the Wii Fit U, and I’ve been playing with the new dance studio and the luge (loves me some luge). So, yes, I have been exercising a lot, and having fun. I suspect that the workouts will pay off.

When I saw my doc yesterday, she was thrilled. My blood pressure looked great, and I owe it all to exercise. Also, according to her records, I’ve lost 15 pounds since April. Well, you know, sometimes you weigh with your shoes on. So happy glowy happiness. Oh. Except for the dust problem. Next entry…

Writing is a Joyful Pursuit in the World

I have finished Wonderbook as of Sunday, and for me, it was a very liberating experience. I was reminded of some of the things I’m doing right, but mostly it made me think about the things that needed thinking about.

When I began sending out Abby Rath, I hoped that it would be good enough and commercial enough to sell. It wasn’t. I think I understand now that while you need to hope that some day some of your work might get out to other people, that in the end the reason you create is because you have something to say and you want to work hard to say it. You’re trying to forge your ideas into something worthwhile and interesting…for yourself.

This is also the path that I’ve chosen regarding my teaching. Of course, there are students, but I’m always trying to improve my ability to get that information to them in a large part because I believe in what I’m doing. My job is service, but I’m trying to live my life and career so that when I look at them, I can say, “Yes, I did what I wanted, and I’m satisfied with the job I did.”

Yes, I did what I wanted, and I’m satisfied with the job I did. So, let’s make some bold statements about writing. First of all, from here on out, I’m not counting words. I’m shaping a story. I’ll be visiting subtexts, writing scenes about what I need to have background for, looking at inspiration and different ways in, revising outlines, doing whatever it is I need to write a story. It’ll be like my thesis. We wrote and wrote and revised and wrote and had readers and suddenly, one day, it was done.

I’m already limiting myself to one writing trip a year for critique. I believe that might be a step in the right direction. I touch base with some friends on Thursdays, but times I’m not writing, and just talking about writing are times I’m not creating and moving toward the goal of writing. I need input from others, but I also need to be in touch with my vision for work, much less tentatively than I have been in the past, when I’ve been putting my work out there to see what people think. The only way I can figure out what I’m doing is to do it and look. Certainly, other people can help, but I need to know if they see what I want, and then if they do, to use their advice to enhance what I want. So, I’m working on getting that core of readers that really get me.

Mostly, I believe that my writing is a joyful pursuit in the world for me. I’m getting off the doggedness train, and back on the delight train. I’m tired of hearing people talk only about hard work and not about imagination, and I hear that a lot in writing circles. I want to fly and imagine, and I was so glad that Wonderbook went there, rather than trying to reduce technique to solid math and slog.

So…this book? I’m working on it. I’ll be ready for some readers eventually, and I’ll ask readers that I think will give me some good feedback. And then, we’ll go back and do what it is we want to do, with honest open eyes. I will endeavor to not think of this as a job or a status or anything like that, because that’s the surest way to kill my interest in it.

I am in pursuit of the best work I can write.

Getting in Shape: End of Week 11

Let’s start with yesterday’s stats!

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 1-7-14: 211.4
Total: 12.4 pounds

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 1-7-14: 213.8
Total: 10.2 pounds LOST

What’s going on: There was some weight lost between the morning and the afternoon, so Weight Watchers has me down for a modest 0.6 pound gain over the holidays. Which suits me just fine. 🙂

Today’s Wii Weight is even more encouraging–210.5 for a total of 13.3 pounds lost.

The goal now is to eat the points of exercise and extra that I have during the week, and no more than that. I’m also trying to mix up the exercise. For example, my first hour of the day today was spent cleaning my office, which is more of an arm activity than the mall walk yesterday. I’ve already worked out today, which is good, because I have a facial after school (yay) and my last Mindbridge set of meetings tonight, so I’m booked.

As I move forward, I’ve set my sites on my next goal being “onederland,” which means I want to dip below 200. That’s 10.7 pounds on the Wii. After that, my hope is for the Wii to start telling me I’m overweight, instead of obese, and that will occur after 186.5 pounds. I’m not looking any farther ahead at this time than “onderland,” and I’ve mentioned before that I think I can get there around the first of April. I don’t want this to happen too fast. I want these changes to be slow, steady, and this time, lasting.

***

In other exercise news, Bryon and I just decided to buy the Wii U. I’m not buying a cell phone, so there’s the money right there. A new version of Wii Fit is coming out, and we want it, plus Bryon is enthused about Disney Infinity, and our current system can only play that in a limited fashion. The new Wii U only requires us to buy a new box and a memory card. All the rest of our Wii system transfers, and all our old games and workouts will still work. We’ll think of it as a gym membership. I think it works so well for us, because we tend to anthropomorphize the cartoon characters and the talking Wii board. If you think of the Wii as a person, it won’t end up gathering dust like that Nordic Track that needs to go away.

If I can lose a pound next week for Weight Watchers, I will have lost five percent of my body weight. That’d be great.

Wonderbook

Ah Wonderbook! It seems that I am not even going to be able to wait until I’ve finished you before I talk about you.

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My writing has been in transition for quite a while, and thanks to Taos Toolbox, Walter Jon Williams, Lou Anders, and Jerry Schechter, I have begun to be a plan ahead writer. What seems to be my pattern is that I write and plan, and then things sort of readjust themselves in my head into a new plan, sort of a hybrid approach. But I’ve been spending a lot of time in plot and structure, and I’ve appreciated the gifts of knowing where I want a story to end up.

What I’ve been missing lately is a sense of play. I picked up Wonderbook by Jeff Vandermeer, Matt Cheney, and Jeremy Zerfoss, in October, and put it into my stack of to-reads, and kept putting it off. It is a gorgeous book full of the kinds of drawings that attract me to graphic novels like Courtney Crumrin or Hopeless, Maine. As I read, I found academic critiques of style coupled with fresh diagrams and suggestions. At the same time, the book emphasizes a mystical approach to fiction. That is to say, Wonderbook is not without its pragmatic, useful structural ideas. It does say that writing is hard work.

I’m so very tired of writing being hard work. I’m so very tired of talking to writers about how much work we do. So many writers seem to have lost track of the joy that brought them to writing in all of our discussions about why we don’t publish or have agents. Not all of us, no. But I am so glad that Wonderbook also says incredible things like, and I paraphrase, “Write for yourself first,” which is the most liberating thing a writer can do. And “Play. Let your subconscious stay open.” Wonderbook crew, just…thanks for that.

***

I have been working slowly but steadily on the novel that is now called A Lasting Storm for about a year. I am slogging my way through the middle, which sounds sort of tin to my writer ear right now. Yet, I have been showing up for at least an hour every day, and I’ve usually followed the slog with some Wonderbook, which I’m finding hard to put down. The engagement of me and my subconscious going to work every day did something last night, and when I got to sleep finally at 3:30 am, I had figured out how to tighten the plot and move things around. I realized I need to write Lucy character bits, and then I needed to go through, put notes in the draft, where I will change structure and when events occur, and I need to send Lucy to the Abyss almost immediately after the first act of the book (using My Story Can Beat Up Your Story terminology!). And I realized that I need to go back through and be much more precise with my language, to give it that Klarion feel that I love, and my readers in the past have loved.

***

It would be great if I could lay all this squarely at the feet of Wonderbook, but that would be a bit of a discredit to myself for showing up and working, and wading my way through the morass of the long dark teatime of the book. But what has helped, and what I credit Wonderbook with is reminding me of the origin of my writing, that I have stories to tell, fun to have, and adventures to experience, and reminding me yet again that this angst, this slow, agonizing finding the story is quite normal.

Oh yes. And to not worry about the publishing thing. But you know me. This year I will be zen writer! The nicest writer you reject! Still, the point is that my art is mine. I’m gonna write this in omniscient third with a bit of a zoom, 3 characters, plot moving forward, full of drama. Hey we all say that. But I think I’ve found my way back into the story, with Wonderbook‘s encouragement.

Like Schechter’s book which will always be open while I’m writing for frame, Wonderbook will become a book I go back to when I feel dry or discouraged about story. Its many articles and helpful words, opinions and playfulness may well help remind me what I want my writing to be.

So, a special shout out to Jeff Vandermeer, Matt Cheney, and Jeremy Zerfoss. Good job, lads. What about a sequel?

Scottish Independence Part 2

It is so cold outside that I am working from home today. We just returned from running the cars up and down the black top to make sure they could still do their thing. Success, but man! You don’t want to be out there. It looks deceptively sunny and pleasant, but that wind is killer.

My psychic abilities are in tact. I had predicted 2 hours late Friday and no school Monday for Bryon, and indeed, this has been the case. I predict 2 hours late tomorrow, although I need to be at Kirkwood at 9:30 for a meeting about planning interviews for next week. It’s cold, but tomorrow we’ll be seeing above zero temps, so that’ll be good, even if the high will be 1F.

The bad weather is playing havoc with the eyes, nose, ears complex. Like last year, I’m a little dizzy occasionally. Yes, I have meclazine. And the eyes get dry. Yes, I have drops. And I get sinus ache. Just bought a humidifier, and that helps. Poo. Moving to Florida can’t come soon enough. (And as soon as it can come is 2020. If I’m lucky.)

***

You might remember that I started an article on Scottish Independence. I had laid out some history and background, and pointed out the Scottish tendency toward nationalism. Today, I’d like to talk about some of the pros and cons I’m hearing about why the vote should be yes or no.

1. North Sea Oil. Many pro-independence Scottish will tell you that Scotland deserves all of the money made from North Sea oil. The idea is that the revenues from the oil would put about 500 pounds of extra money in the average Scottish pocket, and that the English and Welsh don’t deserve this clearly Scottish revenue. Unification Scots suggest that the price of oil is volatile and nothing can be guaranteed regarding this revenue.

2. Economics. Scots for independence are convinced that the average Scot would be better off without the additional tax burdens of Great Britain. Scots for continued unification don’t see the benefits here.

3. Scottish input into world politics. The arguments in this case seem to support the unification Scots. Britain could lose its seat on the UN council if the countries divide up. Scotland is a tiny country and would have less influence than it does even with the auspices of Britain.

4. How do you divide up the pie? Regardless of which way the country goes, certain issues regarding infrastructure, national debt, banks, and government agencies would have to be resolved. A debt free Scotland is not in the cards, given the amount of national debt Great Britain has.

5. Who gets to make the decision? These days it’s hard to define who’s a Scot and who’s not. My own family are from the South, and depending on the revolution, they could have been English or Scottish on a given day. I know my granddad’s roots are English and my grandmother’s are Irish, but their families were Scots longer than my mother’s family has been an American. There are guidelines for who can vote and who can’t, but the integration is solid.

6. Culture issues. When I was last in Scotland, I was proud to see a mobile unit for teaching children Scots Gaelic, the original language of my people. BUT very few people use Scots Gaelic in the world, so a return to it, which no one is advocating, would be difficult. However, the Scots have always been pretty free to preserve aspects of their culture. I wonder what would happen with an increased climate of nationalism.

***

The movement for Scottish independence currently has more support than it ever has, but polls seem to indicate that the majority of the country supports the idea of the United Kingdom. I think the farther north you go, the more likely anti-English sentiment grows, and that makes sense, given the history of the Highlands.

If I were to vote, I would vote no. I am proud of my Scottish roots, but I would worry about the economic impact and infrastructure of a newly independent Scotland. And my suspicious Scottish side wonders if this is a jettison maneuver from the English to help them economically. Color me paranoid, but it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve used my people’s resources to help them get along. (Let’s talk about chasing peasants off land so you could have more sheep for your estates, yes?).

For me, the issue is this: until Scotland has a sound infrastructure that is less reliant on a unified UK, I would suggest no. If Scotland is to be independent, let us move slowly and deliberately in a gradual fashion, getting her the support she best needs for her people. Perhaps this is already being done, but I worry that it has not yet been done sufficiently.

Scotland: Independence?

Man, it’s cold out there! That’s nothing compared to next Monday, when the high is supposed to be -13F, so I’ll just smile a lot, and bundle up. Talking to a friend in Australia, I guess they are breaking heat records. We are a planet of extremes.

***

I understand that Scotland will be voting for independence in 2014. September 18th to be exact. This issue interests me very much. Until my mother brought my grandfather over from Scotland in the mid-80s to take care of him in his old age, she remained a British citizen, and on my mother’s side, I am a first generation American.

It’s hard not to have ties to Scotland. The Scottish are a fiercely nationalistic people. They take pride in things that are Scottish or are perceived as Scottish. It’s an interesting pride. I mean, some would question the worth of haggis or bagpipes. I run the risk of being drummed out of the Scottish club by even doing so. For the record, I love bagpipes, and can eat haggis (and do once a year at Robbie Burns birthday) although I’m not wild about it.

The Scottish are a very wronged people. We started off as fierce, and Hadrian’s wall was built to keep us the hell out of the south part of the island. But the English have this problem. They have been historically an aggressive nation that likes to conquer and colonize, and what better place to start with than with your near neighbors, eh? So, when did Scotland become unified with Wales and England? In 1707. In 1745, Charles Edward Stuart, known more popularly as Bonnie Prince Charlie, led what many Scots consider the last real attempt at rebellion. Stuart wanted all of England with the assistance of the French. He was supported largely by the Scottish Jacobite movement, but not the English one. The Scots and Stuart were defeated soundly at Culloden. Stuart exited the political arena and lived in exile, but this is considered by some the last great Scottish attempt.

Scotland has been part of Great Britain for 307 years. Our Scots Gaelic has been traded for English. Our farmers and shepherds have been driven from their land for English estates. Our country has not been treated as a conquered people for quite some time, but we really are. When I was in Edinburgh in 2004, the tour guide at the castle joked that England joined Scotland after Queen Elizabeth gave the throne to James. But yes, it is, economically, the other way around.

***

I had written another part of this post comparing and contrasting reasons for and against, and unfortunately it was eaten. I will continue this post, and recapture that data soon, but I don’t have any more time to devote to it today. It is certainly a complex matter.