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Getting into Shape: End of Week 16

Bad news, old things. Last week was my last Weight Watchers meeting at work. We couldn’t get enough people to sign up again to make the meeting fly. So, right now I’m debating whether I want to commit to an out of work meeting, or just continue this on my own. I am pretty undecided at this point, but I am not rushing any decision at this point.

Last week looks like this:

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 2-11-14: 206.6
Total: 17.2 pounds LOST

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 2-11-14: 209.6 (an overall gain of .2 for the week)
Total: 14.6 pounds LOST

What this means: things are slowing down. Again, I’ve really kicked up the exercise, so muscle versus fat. Also, I’ve lost 17 pounds, so you know, it probably will take more work to lose now than it did then.

Goals for next week: Figure out whether or not to keep doing the Weight Watchers thing. Extrinsic versus intrinsic! Try to make sure I’m balancing my exercise a little better, ie not doing the same thing every night. Tonight, for example, I’d best do some stretching and core work, because my legs are getting sore, tired, and crampy.

I still hope to make my goal of 200 pounds by April 1st. My average weight loss has been approximately 4 pounds a month so far, and I have 6.6 to go. Another two in February and another four in March, and I’ll be very, very close.

The Writing Process and Hiromi Goto

Canadian writer and Wiscon Guest of Honor for this year, Hiromi Goto, is kind enough to answer a few questions about her writing process.

***

Tamago: Do you have a regular drafting process, or does your drafting process vary from book to book? Can you describe it to us generally, or at least for one project?

Hiromi: I’m afraid I’m from Team Panster…. I have a story idea, a premise, and I start writing from there toward the general direction of the ending. Sometimes I know where the ending is, other times I’m not certain, so the writing process is very much like a journey for me. I’m making connections and developing plot as I go along. My premise starts out with a character and a situation. A kind of mise en scene. Or, I may have an overarching question: why is there so much suffering in the world? This was the starting point of Half World. As I answer the broad question more questions pop up in quick succession. Answering the relevant questions becomes part of the framework of story.

Tamago: Which part of writing–drafting, revising, critique from others–do you enjoy the most? Why? The least? Why?

Hiromi: I enjoy the writing of the first draft the most because I get to discover and shape and form, use my imagination. Revisions are not my favourite because it’s a fussier work and it must be bound within a strong narrative logic. I find this frustrating because I have a love-hate relationship with causality. If I could, I’d abide inside the logic of dreams.

Tamago: What has been your favorite project to date, and why?

Hiromi: I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop-out, but my favourite project is the start of a new project. Each time. It’s because of that heady feeling of all the possibilities before you. A new adventure awaits and you don’t know what’s going to happen, how it’s all going to turn out! It’s the thrill of discovery.

Tamago: Your writing has a very poetic feel, and feels very gentle. Does your imagery and emotion enter into your draft at an early stage, or is this something that comes in revision?

Hiromi: I’m pleased that you can find gentleness in my writing—the last two novels, Half World, and Darkest Light, went to some bleak places. And some of my feminist short stories can have a sharp edge. My first writing instructor was a poet teaching a fiction class. I think his influence has remained with me although his poetry is not of the lyric tradition. When I write I’m aware of not just the meanings of words, but also the way they sound, appear, and the way they leap. Imagery and emotion are very much part of the first draft. I try to inhabit the world of my narrative, and the subjectivity of my characters—an extension of method acting, I think of what I do as method writing. So emotions and imagery are very much part of the process from the moment I begin.

Tamago: After the initial break-in moment (your first book, agent, or assignment), what are the moments/accomplishments that you feel define you as a writer?

Hiromi: It’s always a thrill and a privilege to receive prizes or accolades for one’s writing, but I think the moments that define me as a writer are when I’ve completed a project, and when I start another one. To be a writer, you must write…. That said, when I first learned that Candas Jane Dorsey, a Canadian science fiction writer had won the James Tiptree Jr. Memorial Award, in a moment of longing I told my then girlfriend, “One day I’m going to win the Tiptree.” She said, “I don’t doubt it.” When my novel, The Kappa Child, was awarded the Tiptree in 2001 it was a huge surprise and deep pleasure.

Understanding More about My Process

Yesterday, I was discussing paradigm shifts in regard to living. I’ve also been thinking about them in regard to my creative process. Let’s talk about that.

As one writes or creates more, one begins to learn what works and doesn’t work as an artist. In my case, I have discovered that writing every day for an hour at work is really working well for me. I put in less time per week than I did, but what I do with that time is more quality, and I am pleased with that.

I’m finding that having a writing meeting each week with fellow writers on the Internet is also helpful. Each week, Chris, George and I check in with each other and talk about our weekly output and our plans for the week. We are joined by other writers from time to time, but this process is giving me a community and a touchstone.

I’m finding that because I check in with other writers each week, perhaps I don’t need to undertake special trips to check in with other writers about my work. I am getting reliable readers who understand my writing and give me valuable critique. I am also understanding which readers don’t work for me, and why that happens. Some of the best writers I know might not be the best readers for my stuff–not because they tell me things that I don’t want to hear, but because occasionally those readings seem a bit tone deaf toward my purpose. I’m getting better in my gut about picking out which readers have something to contribute to my project and asking them to read.

I’m also getting better about understanding what it is that I am doing at a certain point. I am following my instincts and moving in that direction.

None of this will translate necessarily into publication, but what I expect is that it will translate into my work being truer to my vision for my work, which is now what is most important to me.

So, I doubt that there will be open calls for readers in the future. I will take the time to ask specifically, and hope I’m lucky enough to garner perceptive help. The readers won’t always be the same for all the projects. I’m also pretty certain that I don’t want to participate in the group or the guru retreat any more. There was a time when that was good for me. Now, I have a group each week, and I have specific people I hope to get to look at my work.

Writing retreats are good for bonding and friendship. However, I prefer the retreat now where I am with other artists creating. The time that you put in critiquing others work getting ready for a workshop is a large investment. I love reading other novels and stories, but maybe over the entire year, and not an intensive month, when some writers have prepared a great deal, and other writers have just dashed something off because they had a deadline and they aren’t necessarily working on it.

Yet, I still don’t believe that writers exist in a vacuum. Community is important. Knowing other writers and working with other writers is excellent. It seems that I might be able to do that from the comfort of my own couch and save myself a lot of money. Spending money to connect with friends at conventions could be one way to do this. Making the Las Vegas retreat my only retreat each year would allow me to bond with excellent friends and write away from home without the random nature of the workshop.

So, what does this mean? I don’t see all critiques as equal or valuable, and I am learning to target my work toward people who will give me valuable critiques. I enjoy the writing community that’s around me, but I prefer my writing community to be friends more than acquaintances. I don’t really want the drama I’ve seen in some writing groups both at the critique and between the critiques, and a way to avoid that is to stay home, especially since I tend to be a drama llama, a habit I am truly trying to leave behind me.

I plan to continue to host Paradise Icon, a group that I expect will largely stay the same, and that I enjoy. I plan to keep checking in with friends on Thursdays, and move steadily forward on my writing, and then ask good critique partners, whom I hope have time to help me out. And the rest? Well, I’m not certain about the rest. Should I replace writing workshops with conventions with friends? Should I just go to retreats? Should I just put my butt in the chair and stay home? Stay tuned.

You could blame Wonderbook, by the way, for this shift. You might be right. Vandermeer and Katagiri.

Paradigm Shift

As you might know, as part of my attempt to live longer and healthier, and to stop doing myself injury with my psychoses, I am actively undergoing paradigm shifts, or trying to change my ways of looking at the world. For example, here’s a list of things I have cared about too much: deadlines, things other people want me to do for them, the stress and pressure I impose upon myself, and the goodwill of people that have little to no relationship to me. In the past, they have been things I have stressed over in the past to no good purpose. I am doing a lot better. I am pretty pleased with how type B I have been. Practice is making me better all the time.

One of the ways in which I am more healthy psychologically is letting go of deadlines, stress, and pressure, and rejecting the American goal orientation as much as I can. This is not to say that I don’t have goals and deadlines. I have them at work. Heck, I have homework and due dates right now! But what I’m trying to do is make these deadlines realistic, and to stop lathering myself into a frothing frenzy about them. This includes things like thinking I should have writing done by certain deadlines. I have goals I would like to make, but I keep it flexible and laid back. A good example of this is my creative writing, which I work on every day, and will finish when I do.

My relationships with other people are a bit harder for me to grapple with, but I’m getting there. There are two ways I’m trying to get there. I am more selfish with my time than I was, and I have to make sure that the thing I do is something that gives me joy and empowerment. As someone who has spent my life doing a lot for others, I’m down with carving out some space for myself. I’m also still down with having a service career and doing for others, but I’m balancing, rather than running dry.

Another area I’m working hard on is judging. I’m terrible at labeling people and making assumptions about them based on one or even two bad examples of behavior. It is possible to not judge people and avoid bad behaviors at the same time. The shift is subtle, but important. In one case, the behavior becomes the person. In the case of trying to look at life more zen, the behavior is out there, and there’s a certain positivity about the nature of existence. I can more readily tell someone I don’t like the behavior, and that’s more honest. If there is a point where a behavior is repetitive, I should still focus on avoiding that behavior, but not judging that person. Hey, you might say. I know you, Catherine. You judge. You are right. Yes, yes I do. We humans have a tendency to do that. And I am new at trying to be Type B and cool. I’ll keep trying.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I’ve been thinking about my interactions. I am pretty honest with those in my immediate circle, or I endeavor to be so, with an eye on the psychology of the person, and their feelings as well. I’m probably not as good with more casual acquaintance, but then again, why would someone who barely knows me be interested in my opinion of their behaviors? I think politeness toward people is generally a good rule of thumb, with the idea that behaviors one is uncomfortable with should be avoided. That seems logical.

Back to the idea of doing things I do and don’t want to do. There are some things about the way I’m viewing my writing process, the kinds of feedback I seek, and my involvement in writing groups. I blame it partly on Jeff Vandermeer, partly on my increased self-awareness in regard to writing, and partly on what I’m looking for in a critique. I’ll try to get back to this topic in the next writing session.

Getting into Shape: End of Week 15

Here’s what this week’s stats look like.

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 2-6-14: 207
Total: 16.8 pounds LOST

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 2-4: 209.4 (an overall loss of .8 for the week)
Total: 14.6 pounds LOST

Backtracking: That two pound gain was indeed a sham. This is a disadvantage of weighing in and taking a body test every morning. You have to realize that your weight can vary up to two pounds from one day to the next.

Interesting stuff: I have weighed as low as 206.4 this week, on Saturday. The last 4 days I have stayed in the same range, with a mere 0.2 pound variance. Much too early to call that a plateau. Plateaus are weeks, not days.

Challenges: Another trip to Minnesota this weekend. This is the second trip I’m taking since I’ve started this. I still plan to exercise, but I have not stocked up on goodies this time. I should pick up some stuff, tonight, before I go, so I am not lame when we have a late lunch or dinner. *makes note to self*

Eating out. All we’ve been doing this week, it seems, with our ridiculous snow removal, rotten weather and our work schedule. I’ve been finding some good things to eat.

Fake Heart Attack: Another GI cocktail in the emergency room on Monday, so I am also hampered by “the bland.” Getting your fruits and veggies in with “the bland” is a challenge. Still, we lost weight last week, and we’re staying the same right now.

For fitness, I’m off the Wii for a bit. I’ve been doing two things this week: either incredible amounts of snow removal, OR walking and watching Rome Season One, because Netflix refuses to send me Mission: Impossible Season 3. Damn, Rome is a good show! It’s enough to make you exercise. 😛

See you next week, and we’re hoping for at least another 0.4 pounds, so Weight Watchers can legitimately say I’ve lost 15 with them. Being thinner does not suck. I mean, shoveling snow is tough. But not like it was 15 pounds ago.

Stay warm. Stay safe.

The Writing Process and Gregory Frost

My first meeting with Gregory Frost was when he sat down before my Baba Yaga panel. It was Wiscon, 2007, and we talked a little about Baba Yaga. Then he introduced himself as Gregory Frost, and I said, “My God! You’re that guy who wrote Fitcher’s Brides! That book scared me to death!” or words to that effect. And then after my panel he invited me on over to the Armless Maiden panel he was on, and that was cool. And later, much later, we hung out at a party his friend and mine Denny Lynch threw for him, due to his Mindbridge Roots. Greg is a teacher, a writer, a scholar, and a truly thoughtful individual, as this interview reveals. Please enjoy!

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Tamago: Do you have a regular drafting process, or does your drafting process vary from book to book. Can you describe it to us generally, or at least for one project?

Greg: I think I have a specific process, but it is certainly a shape-shifting one. I usually approach a story or novel with a fountain pen and notebook first. Sometimes I’ll draft an entire story that way, start to finish. Other times longhand seems to be more a process of experimenting, trying out a series of different approaches—sometimes it’s me writing a half dozen different opening paragraphs or writing what turns out to be biographical information about a character. Often that whole “zero” draft is written longhand. There is something, for me, about the tactility of writing (or scribbling) the words out by hand; and also a sense of freedom in it, in that I’ve been doing it long enough that writing with a pen is almost play. I’ve moved into a mindset where it’s allowed to be play, it doesn’t count. So it gets to be a mess. Or wrong. A way to the story perhaps. But it’s quite freeing.

Sometimes, though, I’ll switch to the laptop at the point of catching the story. It’s all very much instinctual. As I tell writing classes, you have to figure out what works for you and do that. If that stops working, try something else. Be flexible, and uncritical in the earliest stages. Go with what works, and be willing to make mistakes. One of my favorite quotes about creativity is Charlie Parker saying, “If you don’t make a mistake, you aren’t trying hard enough.”

Tamago: Do you use a different drafting process for short stories versus novels?

Greg: There are similarities…I mean, in both cases I’m pulling scenes, images, dialogues out of my head and trying them out; but I believe that a person can write short stories without ever requiring an outline. It’s a small enough thing that you can wrap your arms around the whole of it while you’re writing it, even accounting for changes you encounter as you go. To me short stories are more like poems than they are like novels. And I’m not even talking about 300 word flash fictions where you really are paring it down to the size of a poem. Stories are aiming for a single, final effect, however you care to define that.

A novel is, for me, simply too enormous to attack without some sort of narrative structure sketched out, however vaguely. I need a target to aim at, and I usually produce the first outline within 50 pages of setting out. (I was delighted some years back to find out it’s how Scottish novelist Val McDermid describes her process, too.)

For me the outline is more a means of verifying that the idea has the heft to be a novel. Once I have it, I will then reference the outline as needed, until it’s clear that I’ve parted company with it; and then I’ll recast it. Sort of like fly fishing. It’s fair to say that in any book project I’ll have written anywhere between one and five outlines before I’m done, mostly because notations of “and then this will happen” as imagined in advance transform when I actually sit down and write that sequence; often a multiplicity of heretofore unimagined options present themselves. In effect, by putting the words down I’ve brought things into focus in a way I couldn’t have before they were set down. (Samuel R. Delany has a wonderful essay on this topic in his collection, About Writing.)

There’s a quote from John Irving where he says that when he’s beginning a book, he can only work for a couple of hours because he only knows a couple of hours worth of the story. By the end of it, however, he can work for long stretches: choices have been made, options jettisoned, and he’s charging at an ending that’s become palpable. By comparison, I can think of short stories, even novelettes, that I’ve drafted in a single sitting. Might be a very long day, but when I totter away from the desk, there’s the whole shape of a story there. (Mind you, that does not by any means suggest that it’s close to done. Just that a complete narrative with a beginning, middle, and end have swirled into existence.) No one should make the mistake of thinking that just because they got to the end of the draft, their story is finished.

Tamago: Can you describe the use of notebooks (writing by hand) in your writing process?

Greg: Way back in high school I took a summer class in touch-typing. (This was before computers or even dedicated word processors abounded.) I learned to type about 90 words per minute accurately…which it seems is faster than I can think. If you are one of those who believe writing fiction is some sort of “automatic writing”—you’re merely a conduit and all that jazz—well, perhaps that presents no impediment for you. Major problem for me.
I was just spewing crap as fast as my fingers could go without any chance to focus on the words, without hearing them, feeling them. I needed to stop doing that, to slow down, to turn things over in my head, to listen to the cadence, to be able to write it wrong, cross it out, write it again, cross it out, write it again, etc., each time perhaps getting closer to what I actually wanted the sentence or paragraph to say.

Eventually, I arrived at the University of Iowa, and met Joe Haldeman, who was enrolled in the MFA program. We both, at about the same time, developed an adoration for a pen called a Kohinoor Inkograph, which was a fountain-pen version of a Rapidograph technical pen. I bought one and began writing all my first drafts longhand. It slowed me down exactly as I needed; and over time this evolved into what Anne Lamott refers to in Bird by Bird as the “Shitty First Drafts” process. My friend of long standing, Judith Berman, coined the term “zero drafts” in talking about her own methodology, because they don’t even qualify as first drafts (as I described above). It’s a “circling the story” approach.

My affection for fountain pens continues (so does Joe’s), and by extension for notebooks. So right now I write with a Namiki Falcon (I HEART flexible nibs) in Levenger Circa notebooks, which allow me to build a separate notebook for each project. I’m not even going to get into inks or this answer will run for two more paragraphs.

Continue reading “The Writing Process and Gregory Frost”

Let’s Write the Jim Hines Way!

With apologies to Jim Hines. This is the title of the fake info commercial that we talked about at Icon in one of our goofier moments, but cooler heads prevailed early the next day.

***

Let me explain what’s different about my writing now that I write from 10:00-11:15 each day at work, instead of cutting out for larger tracks of time. What I do is this: I grab my computer and I leave my office, which is a bit of a fishbowl, and also where students will interrupt me even if I hang up signs saying not to, where my phone will ring, and where everything is still going on. I go to the second floor of our library and I sit in a study carrel with the rest of the world closed off to me by study carrel walls. The second floor of our library has been chosen because it is a quite study zone, so students do not talk to each other. Rather than sitting in the comfy chairs by the window where I can look outside, or people can see me, I am hidden and I focus on the task at hand.

The Internet on the second floor of the library is crap. It sometimes works. It sometimes doesn’t work. That doesn’t matter. I am not allowed to turn on the Internet until the end of the writing session, when I save my modified document on Google Docs.

Please notice that I’ve set myself up with minimal distractions, with the intent to write as much as I can for an hour. The fifteen extra minutes are the travel to and from the office time.

***

How is this working?

1. I get through about a scene a day. I start my day re-reading yesterday’s work, and making changes and sharpening it. Then I begin the next scene. The scenes are sharper, and I am more engaged in the story by writing every day.

2. I am enthused about doing the writing every day. The alternative is work, you see. 🙂 No, I love my job, but it is nice to use a different part of my brain in the middle of the day. It also helps me relax.

3. I feel like there is a great deal of forward movement.

4. Distraction does not keep me from writing, which it usually does in other settings.

***

Right now I am drafting this novel like Steven Gould drafts his novels, which is new. But Elizabeth Bear once said something to the effect that the writing process is different for every book. This book I’ve had four outlines, but they both collapse and expand, and right now I’m lengthening Venice and intrigue because I’m sending one character right to hell at a climactic moment (do not pass go, do not collect $200), and you need to give a damn about both the sisters. I’m getting there. As my friend Chris said, I may in fact have found my characters and that’s why the change.

Overall, then, what you’ve heard about writing every day is true. And what you’ve heard about getting off the Internet is true. So, why don’t we do it? These are the ancient questions of the universe. BTW, you can see interviews from Jim, Steven and Bear in the Authors and their Writing Processes page of the site, so you can see what I mean by throwing those names around.

Getting into Shape: End of Week 14

Just ducking in. Before I give you this week’s news, I have one comment.

Snow! What a surprise! We never get snow around here!

***

Okay. So onto this.

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 1-28-14: 207.7
Total: 16.1 pounds LOST

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 1-28-14: 210.2 (an overall gain of .2 for the week)
Total: 13.2 pounds LOST

Hey, this seems remarkably the same, doesn’t it? After a trip to Vegas, it’s good, baybee, it’s good.

What’s behind the scenes: Today I gained 2 pounds on the Wii. Woah. So next week’s numbers might be up a bit. We’ll see. There are several possible reasons: increased exercise, perhaps Vegas catchup (note how I didn’t gain weight when I got back. Could I be paying now?), perhaps female events (thanks to thyroid pills, I do get a period every once in a while, and I can count on a weight gain of around two pounds), stress (yesterday was worthy of my old attitude toward relaxation. There was no down time at all, and I fell asleep during my writing period. Crap. Cortisol, that’s all I’m saying.) or my personal favorite, acid reflux disease (sometimes things get, well, stoppered.) I’m still on program, but I have been using some of my flex points, so it could be as simple as too many flex points in too short a time. Although nothing like that has happened yet, it could happen.

So, we’ll see what we have tomorrow. I expect a dip. Just how much of a dip we’ll see. The drama! The drama!

Gotta go. Gotta have some lunch, I teach in another hour, and I still have a boatload of fire science work to do.

Spa, Write, Talk, Repeat

And so, late Thursday night I arrived in Las Vegas.

Thursday: An early morning breakfast with Ada Brown and Miranda Suri at Mon Ami Gabi. Loved the food, and next time would recommend the brioche and the giant bowl of coffee as enough food. I kid you not. A bowl of coffee, like it was a Japanese tea ceremony.

Spaing was next on the agenda. The Aria has a great spa. I was particularly fond of the Eucalyptus Steam room which roiled a cloud at you a la Stephen King’s The Fog, the shiyo salt room, and the warm stone beds we could just relax on. My Thai Fusion massage did wonders for my joints and lower back. I want one of those again, but I don’t think they can be found in Iowa.

We spent Friday afternoon writing. On this day, I wrote 2300 new words, pretty much all crap. There was a break for a Napoleon and an Americano.

Friday night a delicious sushi dinner, some drinks at the Chandelier bar, and an early night for this tired Iowan.

***

Saturday I was up very early, so I had a healthy breakfast and an hour walk. Then, more writing, a healthy lunch, and more writing. What we wrote the day before, we made legitimate, and I was very happy overall. Lisa Morton, Ada and I spent some time watching the J-Pop countdown on NHK as we glammed up. Then we had dinner and good conversation at Sage.

***

It was a simple retreat. Time to talk, time to chill, time to write. The vibe was low key and we all were motivated by each other to work on projects. It’s great to talk to other writers who are about at the same stage, and just work.

I find myself thinking about the value of the critique workshop. I need readers, but I have good readers I can rely on who are useful and who get what I need. I’m not sure that my best travel dollars are spent getting away to a workshop where I don’t write, since I do my best writing and critiquing at home. However, I do like to relax and write with other writers and a group in a nice setting.

Here’s a write up from Miranda Suri, where she says pretty much loads of things about the retreat that I agree with, and I’m lazy enough just to link. 🙂 I’d like to thank Danielle Burkhart, Lisa, Ada and Miranda for a nice weekend. Let’s do it again.

***

At this point, I do not plan to go next year, as I am limiting myself to one workshop a year, and I believe next year’s is settled, unless something changes. But I will miss it.

***

In related news, believe it or not, I lost 0.5 pounds. Yeah, that should not have happened. And I got back to Iowa just in time to drive home in another blizzard. No school today, and we’re trapped inside with dangerous wind chills. But what would be worse? Being stranded on the road. So, I’m grateful.

Getting in Shape: End of Week 13

Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.)
Wii Weight on 1-22-14: 208.1
Total: 15.7 pounds LOST

Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 1-21-14: 210.2 (an overall gain of .2 for the week)
Total: 13.2 pounds LOST

What this means: I am now at my Viable Paradise 2009 weight. There are so many variables here I’m not sure what is working or if this is everything in tandem. Here’s what’s changed: stress reduction, healthier eating, more exercising, indulgence without excess, and levothyroxin.

In the past, I have been frustrated because I have worked hard and nothing’s happened. This time I’m working on it, but letting the results be the results, and this is happening.

Off to Vegas, then. In smaller pants.

ps I have officially lost 5 percent of my body weight, the first Weight Watchers goal. The next goal is 201.6, which is the 10 percent goal. My immediate goal after that is Onederland.