In the face of darkness, high stakes, and horrible odds, you can save yourself and the world
I should be working on my novel right now, and instead, I’m here, writing myself off the ledge.
It is…interesting as I try to fight the kinds of reactions that my body has been having to stress over the years. I would say that everything was pretty much on target until Thursday, when I had a stress attack about how much I was doing at work. THAT was progress, because normally I embrace registration week with the fervor of a drama junkie, and I didn’t.
Oh the whining! It burns!
Hey guys! Had a total relapse into workaholic mode Thursday through Monday, and I can feel it. I know now that I am not going to complete NaNoWriMo, given what I’ve got going on this month, and when I next talk to David, we’re going to look at November and figure out what I can do with the way it’s stacked up and what I’m learning about myself.
Meanwhile, I have Paradise Icon 2 this weekend. I’m ready, and I’ve got that in hand. I have most things at work in hand. My dining room is being worked on, but hey, I think that it’s kind of fun to have my dining room table in my living room. No, that’s whimsy.
Yet, my chest is tight, and something isn’t quite right. I need to relax. I’ll be working on that over the next two days. I have some off time tomorrow.
***
Here’s your fitness report for this week
Here are some statistics for you. I’ll complete these after today’s Weight Watchers Meeting.
Exercise Points Goal: 14
Achieved Points: 31
What’s happening here: I worked out while I traveled, and while I couldn’t exercise every day, I worked out for 4 days, usually around an hour a day, but sometimes with small bursts elsewhere. Not too shabby.
This week I ate 8 more points than I had allocated. Travel, hunger. So there’s that.
Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.
Wii Weight on 11-5-13: 215
Total: 8.8 pounds LOST
Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 11-5-13: 218.4
Total: 5.6 pounds LOST
Why the discrepancy? Someone switched over to winter clothes, and it cost her 0.6 pounds at this afternoon’s weigh in.
Interesting things this week: I took treats to Minneapolis and managed to avoid…lots of sugar. I walked while we were gaming for 90 minutes (pacing on a stair stepper). I found that in the gravied German Amana food paradise that someone is making a great grilled chicken and a vegetarian orzo.
Next week: OMG, a convention! As one gets tired, one’s judgment gets worse, so I have to stay on task. I plan to not work out Thursday and Friday (really just can’t find the time), but will work out Saturday and Sunday. I expect Sunday will be re-establishing my dining room as an independent entity.
Food? What I will do is stay out of the con suite (or if I do go in, the rule is water, veg, or fruit). And I will eat Power Foods as much as I can. I will also make an effort to save most of my point pool for this weekend, just in case. If it turns out that I don’t need them, I will have something nice on Sunday and Monday, my indulgence for the week. I expect, however, that I will need them, and should have them.
Okay, I’m off for some dinner and a friend’s birthday party. Have a great evening.
I recently saw some tweets from some writers I know who suggested that when your novel came back with a rejection, that was a year of your life wasted. Another writer I know suggested that was why she didn’t write novels. Of course, I thought about that, and it all comes down to why you’re in the game, doesn’t it?
Scenario One: Immediate gratification and/or approval from others It is NOT easier to write a good short story. Some people can’t write short stories at all. NOR is it necessarily faster to write a publishable short story. But in general turn around is faster, rejections are faster, and the opportunities for acceptances are greater. You can maybe turn around anywhere from 5-20 short stories in a year if you work at it, considering variation of speed. The odds (not calculated mathematically) mean you have a higher chance of acceptance on short stories.
The above scenario assumes you are in the game pretty much for ACCEPTANCE. For whatever reason. Publication is the end all, be all for your writing. Perhaps you crave attention. Perhaps you have a message Perhaps you want money. Because if a rejection means you’ve wasted your time, then it logically follows that an acceptance means you haven’t.
Of course, this can also lead to scenario 2: My novel is good enough. Screw you, publishing industry. I will strike out on my own. Which people do for a variety of reasons, but one of which might be the immediate gratification and/or approval from others scenario. And that’s frustrating, because in most cases, when you hear crickets, that’s worse.
Go on, ask Hugh Howey how long it took him to cultivate a readership. I’ll be here when you get back. That’s work too, and not wasted work. It’s another kind of rejection and I would suggest, not a waste.
This takes a while. So are rejections of your work, whether self published or submitted indicative of time wasted because you don’t get the result you want immediately. I will use a very strong British word: Tosh. That’s just tosh.
***
That seems a rather bleak reason to write. It seems to imply that the only reason to write is publication and money and acceptance and maybe even immediate gratification, and that if you don’t get it, you’ve wasted your time. You may agree, and I don’t want to judge or diss you. As a matter of fact, a cut is called for. Peace. Off you go. Good luck with those acceptances. Hopefully, you’ll stop wasting years of your life soon.
Here are some statistics for you. I’ll complete these after today’s Weight Watchers Meeting.
Exercise Points Goal: 14
Achieved Points: 37
What’s happening here: I had quite a stair stepping routine in my office one day for a total of 12 points. You see, I compute and step at the same time, and I had a lot of computing that day. I find, however, that if I overdo, I do hurt myself. Today, for example, after stepping for an hour yesterday (watching tv at home stepping), my foot is sleeping and my shoulder hurts. So today will be a day of gentle stretching, and I will try to rope in the marathon sessions to avoid injury. You may well see less exercise next week.
Also, you should know that I ate 5 points more than I exercised last week. The result was no big deal, as the weight loss will tell you. I had a harder time with sweets last week, but I managed, and this week’s rule is only one major indulgence. I need the rest of those flex points for just coping with real food, especially since I plan to exercise less this week to avoid injury.
Beginning Wii Weight: 223.8 (My heaviest ever after this summer.
Wii Weight on 11-5-13: 215.8
Total: 8 pounds LOST
Weight Watchers on Initial Weigh In: 224
Weight Watchers on 11-5-13: 218.6
Total: 5.4 pounds LOST (and that’s a sticker, for those of you who remember elementary school fondly. 🙂 )
What’s working: This is counter-intuitive, but I eat every exercise point I earn, and every point in my saved points pool. I don’t usually do this, and I think my body sees this as reduction without starvation, so it is dropping weight.
What’s working 2: Less worry I think translates into more weight loss. This is a hard week, with registration, NaNo, social issues, a con coming up, and a ceiling repair to prepare for. Through it all, I am trying to just focus on one thing at a time. I didn’t sleep well last night. I suspect it was caffeine, as I did all my relaxation techniques. But we will see how this week goes. Stress reduction is very important to weight loss.
I am pretty done in today. I plan to track today, but not exercise, unless I am overtaken with the urge to stretch for a while at home. We’ll see.
Back next week. See how I weather my trip to Minnesota for gaming this weekend. I have already purchased some low cal healthy snacks for the trip.
It’s official. I like in a snowglobe now, except instead of snow, little pieces of plastic shaped like autumn leaves fall. It’s really beautiful right now. The wind causes leaves of yellow, orange, and red to lazily spin toward the ground like a rainbow is raining. Yeah, I could do this. Autumn is definitely not why we’re leaving autumn in retirement. Nah, that’d be winter. It makes me cranky, winter, especially because of the commute.
But autumn is beautiful outside my window RIGHT NOW.
***
This week I will be registering students, and I am working very hard to keep this from being a source of stress. It’s a very busy week, and of course, I have thing to do, but I’m trying to keep my eyes on the road in front of me and not get distracted. And then, all the work stays here at night, unless it’s due the next day. Look at the leaves and take a lot of deep breaths.
***
The writing for NaNoWriMo continues, and yes, it is a great way to get some words down, if not the best way to get some quality words down. From time to time, I’ll post excerpts.
The next time I post here, it is my hope to post a little bit about Venice. I’ve been reading up.
First of all, I have to tell you…when you get to the end of this book, insider knowledge tells me that there will be a second book. And you need to know that, because when you do get to the end of this book, it will go hard for you if you don’t know that.
***
But I am ahead of myself. One of the advantages of being a cuspy writer such as myself is that you get to know other writers. Eventually, those writers get published, and those excellent writers are willing to send you copies of their excellent debut novels. J. Kathleen Cheney has been nominated for a Nebula for her novella Iron Shoes. In that piece, Cheney shows her deft hand at mixing fantasy, history, and romance, and you can see the expertise that will ultimately bring The Golden City to fruition.
Here is where I seemingly deviate, but bear with me. Not as trendy or flashy as, say, zombie fiction, the latest urban fantasy monster mash, or even another high-flying, anachronistic pair in a dirigible, the sub-genre of historical fantasy has been slowly, steadily, and stealthily been growing while you weren’t looking. One can gather quite a group of authors in it now: not only Clarke, but Kowal and Moyer, to name just a few. Instead of talking about this sub-genre (I know, you double-dog-dare me), I’d like to focus on Cheney’s new contribution to it.
Cheney adds her sophisticated voice to historical fantasy. This book is impeccably researched. The history, fantasy, and romance of this story are well-balanced, no one thing overshadowing another. I applaud the lack of anachronism, and the use of native fantasy elements appropriate to the setting and time, because, you know, I’m a smart reader who knows a lot about folklore and history.
The book focuses on Oriana Paredas, sereia spy, in an alternative history Portugal. She meets Dulio Ferreira, both of them intersecting on the same investigation involving political plots, death, and intrigue. But…and this pregnant pause should emphasize my point…the plot is slippery, like an eel, not predictable. Worse (better!) than the plot is the romantic tension. But…and here again, the pregnant pause…Cheney understands that the tension is the thing that keeps the reader reading. You know you want the characters to kiss, but the longer I wait to see them kiss, the better that kiss is going to be. A few obstacles to a happy culmination of the relationship never hurt a reader either.
So…the plot is unpredictable, the characters interesting and real to the time, and the relationship tension is as activated as the plot. I approve of this book on many fronts, as a reader of adventure literature (think Dumas, think Orczy), spy novels, historical romance, and historical fantasy. If you find any of those genres to suit, or, like me, many of those genres to suit, you should pick up this book.
That’s The Golden City by J. Kathleen Cheney. Which comes out THIS TUESDAY, November 5th. Be the first on your block.
Here are some photos of Bryon’s Halloween display last night, some of them taken by Bryon, and others taken by our photographer friend Mark.
We still have lots of Cow Tails (it’s a candy for those of you not in the know), but your last chance to see the display other than virtually is gone. No word on next year yet.
So…a few years ago, just before I began the fake family reunions, and I was dealing with my decision to no longer see my family, I asked many good friends to write reports about what they liked about me. One of the more uncomfortable moments of my life, being a Midwesterner and all, but they came through with shining aplomb, and I have used that document during dark times to buoy myself up, especially around the holidays when I’m missing a family and cursing Norman Rockwell in the dark.
***
Today’s task is even harder. Today I am going to write good things about myself, the things that I think. And, by God, you think asking other people to write things about you is hard!!! I mean, we Midwesterners, we just don’t go in for this stuff. Might be all right for some…
But it must be done. And I will use for my spring board the fact that David said he liked the energy he was seeing in me yesterday, as I’ve started to take better care of myself, and stopped focusing on expectations and proof of my worth.
Yes, okay, if you’re not interested, get off the boat now. Take small children firmly by the hand, etc. etc.
And some stats, just before I go off to weigh in. I’ll finish this after I get back. It was a good week.
Exercise Points Goal: 14
Achieved Points: 24 (woot!)
Wii Weight on 2-22-13: 220.7
Wii Weight on 2-29-13: 217.4
Total: 3.3 pounds LOST
Weight Watchers on 2-22-13: 224
Weight Watchers on 2-29-13: 220.2
Total: 3.8 pounds LOST
Never expect this much droppage again. This is fairly typical during Weight Watchers Week One, but once your body figures out something’s going on, it slows down to 1/2 to 2 a week, depending. And then, there will be the plateaus.
Anyway, much happiness. Let’s celebrate by getting some ice cream.
JUST kidding!
***
This afternoon, off to see David. Yay.
Got those I’m staying at work today until 5 pm blues….oh I got them staying at work today until 5 pm blues!
Gonna type and register for TESOL, and maybe watch a student video or two!
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This Monday has TEETH! Usually my late night is Tuesday, but I see David probably for the last time tomorrow (EAP=finite) and Thursday is the big freakin’ Halloween Egyptian tomb extravaganza (why yes, Bryon has been painting a cardboard sarcophagus for most of the weekend.) So Monday had to be it, kiddos. And I stair stepped like a puffin’ banshee today–half an hour of the sweatiest. So, the first week of Weight Watchers they wanted us to put in 14 points of movement and I managed 24. Wimpy stuff, but everyone’s gotta start wimpy.
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Writing. That went pretty well. There was none on Saturday, but there was some good stuff on Friday and Sunday. Here’s just a taste.