I’d prefer not to think of this as a whining post. I’d prefer to think of this as an “intellectual examination of the authoring process.” Look, I’m an English professor. I have a license to euphemism!
I read a lot of people who are working on finding an agent, and I find myself thinking about playing the game as a writer. Writers send out queries to agents, agents read and make their subjective judgment, and rejections, partials, fulls, and even occasionally successes come from there. That’s pretty much the process.
Things get weird on the writer’s side because of
1. Entitlement
2. Insecurity
3. Anger and bitterness
4. Patience
Things get weird on the agent’s side because
1. Writers don’t understand that an agent’s call is also subjective.
2. Writers are sometimes impolite.
3. Writers are unprofessional in representing their image.
It sounds like I can only find fault with the writer. Is that the case? Is this to say when you are looking for an agent that an agent is never unprofessional? No, it’s not, although I can’t understand why an author wouldn’t be happy to have found that out about the agent right away, so they can move on.
Frankly, I want an agent. I know as a writer, I can’t get too far without one. It’s not true that I can’t get anywhere. I’ve already gotten somewhere in my own beginning way, and I intend to keep building a base of writing I’ve done without an agent. That makes me look successful, and, you guessed it, more attractive to an agent. Each story I publish makes me look like someone who can finish a project, and someone people read.
In the long run, I would like an agent so I can have a broader audience, and so I can have someone else on my team advocating for my work. I have another career. I don’t know the ins and outs of publishing. I don’t want to be a marketeer (like a mouseketeer, but the ears are different). Clearly, the self-publishing path, where people wear all these hats, is not for me.
I’m also trying to keep my reputation as a writer. I’m Type A. I’m tempted to edit anthologies, run a small press zine, or something. I’m also the kind of person who would let my obligations to others take away my time to write, so I squash those ambitions ruthlessly. I want people to see me as a creator. I get enough control in other parts of my life. I run a whole program.
As a creator, I know an agent would be helpful to my career. We all know that. The focus on getting an agent is a good one. I contend that getting an agent should be beside the point of your writing.
Writers write. Sometimes they are inspired to write. Sometimes it’s hard work. We keep writing, whether we have an agent or not. If we can keep that integrity without crossing the line into entitlement or arrogance, if we can focus on what we enjoy, the writing, I think writers would be a lot happier. I also wonder that agents wouldn’t be a lot happier with writers.
I have occasionally not lived up to my high ideals. What I have learned since 2006, when I began making an effort, is writing ain’t nothing but waiting. I wait for my story to come out. I work at it steadily, but it’s like having a baby, and the delivery time is variable.
I wait to shape my story. Once the words are on the page, I have more control, but even this takes time. This part is more like wine making. Fermentation produces just the right secret flavors.
I wait to hear from editors, publishers and agents. And wait. And wait. And even wait some more.
I wait to have the things that have been accepted published. And wait. And wait. And even wait some more.
But you know, the sage words of many come back to me. Control what you can. The rest is going to be what it’s going to be. That’s actually a good philosophy for life, let alone writing. What can I control? Writing and doing other things in my life to be happy.
I’m discomfited because it seems that the writing process makes many un-agented writers unhappy, and even angry against agents. We invent conspiracies against The Man (TM) or decide we are unworthy. See the list above for why this probably happens.
In the end, a contract with an agent is a business exchange. Like at work, it’s great if we have an agent we get along with, like a solid coworker. Sometimes we leave the workplace because the coworker doesn’t see eye to eye with us or we want a change. To expect petting, acceptance of our greatness by virtue of putting a word on a page, or an exception for us because we are less than professional is unrealistic.
Writing is a job. You might even sell some books some day, and then you’ll be on the hamster wheel of deadlines. Believe me, writers, then you’ll invent other problems. I see that writing in journals too.
I’m not saying be careful what you wish for. I understand some of you are solely writing for publication and acknowledgment. I underscore that if you aren’t getting any joy, why not go hit the Wii, read a book, or find something else you love? Temporarily or permanently. Because angst isn’t sexy, and that’s weird, twisted logic, to do something that hurts.
I’ll keep looking at the glass as half full, and enjoy my writing. The rest of it? We hope, but we don’t expect.
The things I’ll write to try to avoid buckling down to my draft today.
Next: Discomfited Part Two: Does every genre book have to be like every other genre book? From a reader’s perspective.
Catherine
