Author: Catherine Schaff-Stump

So, I’m getting itchy, and I’ve finished with a couple of recent obsessions. I think that means it’s time to write.

WHAT I will write may surprise me. I’ve seen last month as sort of an attempt at the wrong stuff, and so I figure if my brain wants a little time to itself, it should have it. I’ve written over 1200 pages in the last 3 years, even if most of it is largely unpublishable, due to the nature of the beast. We probably did need to heal up from the outpouring of words.

I’ve also got a creative academic project going on, so I’m excited to begin that. I feel a desire to sink into myself, rather than reach out to others, although I intend to try to resume some activities that will jumpstart my creativity a bit.

Catherine

Well, I haven’t been writing, or editing. I’ve been thinking and plotting. I have a great deal of plot stored up in my head. AND I need time to write. But I’ve been being professional, doing my job, and not really having that time.

I am not too frustrated. This perculation time doesn’t feel like avoidance. It feels like it’s necessary. We’ll get back there, hopefully soon. Rerolling over it all.

Catherine

Hold out this time oh health! Hold out until I can do some more writing.

Let me copy something from my livejournal here. Hold on…

I woke up Saturday, having had creative dreams about yet another story that I’m not writing, but I was smart enough to lay in bed for about an hour, and think about my current active project, and you know what, I think it helped. I realized why the muse isn’t sitting on my shoulder. I know what this story is about, but I’m in chore mode with it–conversion mode, rather than sitting, and listening to my characters talk to me about their feelings and relationships. This is the thing that I think made so many readers enamoured with the first version of Substance, and so I’m going to spend more time listening and hearing my characters. I’ll have to really expand the first part of the story, and let it go the direction it wants to go.

The other thing I realized I’ve got to stop doing is worrying about the size of the book and its marketability. I’ll tell the story first, and see what we’ve got later. If it’s not the first book I send out, it’ll keep until later. But I’m gonna write it right. I know that there are marketability concerns, but these do change over time, and I’ve got to trust my story teller instincts first.

And finally? I’m going to go back and make all the introduced things part of the story. No need to start them off at school in the story, no need to introduce Professor Borgia. These things should already be there. I’m producing crap, and this is why. It’s almost amateurish at this stage, but I see more clearly.

Regress, progress, regress, progress…

Catherine

Well, I wrote about five pages last night in chapter 5, and so I’m slogging through it. From fertilizer, good things grow. Plotting difficulties on the horizon!

I gotta tell you, I know the story is Stephanus, and I know the book has to be self-contained. About the right number of pages would be Esme’s trial, or maybe even Errol’s trial, but Stephanus’ major changes don’t occur unti Eurydice’s trial. So, I’m going to have to see a way in which he can change by Errol’s trial. Time to do some serious character work there. It’s the backbone of the whole story, this, so it’s important.

The writing workshop is about to get a little more structured. I think this is a good thing.

Spending this week snotty for tax purposes, it would seem. Have been making it to work, but not much umph to write.

So, I’ve been thinking about the prologue to the Klarion story, and I’ve decided to revise it and put it back in, now that I have a fairly clear vision of it after writing the outtakes.

I also really want to avoid making chapter 5 yet another boring establishment chapter. I need to jump right into some plot. Can I do that without another point of view, or making Stephanus seem too beleaguered? Maybe I should start with some action in the custody battle.

I also need to populate the staff of the school with interesting characters.

Looks like I actually have some creative, rather than editing work to do. Hopefully something will bubble forward soon.

Back to the creeping gormies.

I’ve begun chapter 5. We’re working from mostly scratch from here on out–concepts and characters exist, and themes and plots exist, but settings and actions, all sort of new.

And since we’re first drafting, I expect to dredge through some crap before I find the right solutions. I know where I want to go. Just gotta get there.

I’m also needing to decide where the quitting point of the story is. Esme’s trial? Errol’s trial? Follow Lee’s suggestion to include them both, and use more of a flashback structure?

Let’s write it forward first, see what happens.

Just wish it were going a little easier. It seems a bit of a drudge after the celestial wings of last night’s outtake.

Catherine

The outtakes are done. I’ll get them out to all you who asked for them as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience.

Catherine

Pretty much there with the outtake mojo. I’m 3/4 done with it, and I hope to finish this evening. Then a bit of a polish, and we’ll be good to go, and back to the grind of the book itself.

Catherine

Dutifully spent an hour tonight working on chapters 1-4 sent by writing workshop fellow Jenn. Jenn was clamoring for more transitions, so I went at it.

Also began keeping a list of suggested characterization and organization revisions. I’m going to go back to writing this all the way through, see where the characters go and what they become, and then go back to hammering this all out.

Feel like I put in a good night of work.

Catherine

While I have been editing, work has been eating my brain. I’m up for a new job, but the stress and angst associated with it have been playing havoc with my creativity. I’ve also been going through a sort of transition about my thoughts in regard to writing and creativity.

So, as I’ve been writing, editing, and becoming more familiar with the life of published authors, I’ve learned a few useful things:

1. This is a hard, old lonely road these folks are walking. A lot of them spend time angsting and unhappy.
2. Don’t quit your day job (subsistence living is also a hard road)
3. Deadlines give them much creative angst.

Hrm. Okay, so after some thought…

Yup, still gonna write, and try to publish, but I really don’t want to get on that hamster wheel. Someone I know signed a three contract book deal, and has written two of the books. She’s making progress on the next book, but is having some depression issues and self-doubt issues. Well, she’s entitled. She just cranked out two books in two years, and during one of those years, she worked full time! Man, that’s harsh! OF COURSE you’re going to feel less than peak! Of course your brain will rebel! No longer art, the book’s become a product. Do I want that? She doesn’t, but she’s on the wheel.

What I’m saying is that I like my life, even though the administration of my school has been yanking me around a bit. 🙂 It’s not that I’m choosing teaching over writing. I am a writer and a teacher. So, what am I saying?

What writing means to me isn’t so much publicity, or so many deadlines. It’s not even necessarily getting my work published, although I most certainly will try. It’s leaving something I’ve said after me. It’s doing art. Doing important art. Tolkien took 30 years to write an important story. Well, why not? I have my mad money, my bills covered, and my insurance. So why not take the time the story needs? Surprisingly, I’m not an attention whore (no one more surprised than me there), especially now that I’m in fan fiction recovery. So why not take the time the story needs? I have folks who know the work, and more will come to read the work as I get the word out, and I won’t write crap, or compromise my quality of living to write for money hungry publishers who would break you on the Wheel of Pain (TM). Yeah. Gross overgeneralization. Not everyone believes in the hamster wheel. But you know, I’ve just seen a lot of angst and anger recently, and I’m just not gonna go there. I’m not doing that to myself.

Blah, blah, blah, idealized, unrealistic picture in today’s world, if you don’t sell, you’ll never keep your work out there, blah, blah, blah.

Well, big feckin’ deal. If I can’t get in the Publishing Door, there’s got to be some way to get your work out there, leave it for people who want to read it. Who knows? We might be able to do something cool and innovative. We are a pretty creative bunch.

I’ll keep at it, and I’ll knock on the conventional doors first. I just want to keep my soul. The special work that lasts seems to come from authors who keep their souls.

As a result of these thoughts, I’m going to return to my writing this week, but I’m going to try and let it come more naturally, and worry about it less. I want to have a separate life from writing, to have something to write about, and rather worry about publication, a book a year, or something, I’m going to try to let the book decide when it’s done.

Not a good idea for a procrastinator, but since that’s not my natural habitat, I should be fine.

At any rate, I hope to have that outtake scene done by the end of this week.

Wish me luck, and less angst.

Catherine