Also known as the 2016 New Year’s Resolution Post.
So, I’ve been thinking about some of these hard. And I’m cutting this because it sounds remarkably like a self-help book.
1. Change the focus of my writing from publication to artistic fulfillment. No, this doesn’t mean that I will stop collecting rejections. And no, it probably doesn’t mean that I will be able to avoid all the psychological disadvantages that come from being a creative (You know. Procrastination. Perfectionism. Insecurity. Imposter’s Syndrome. Etc.) BUT it does mean that I’m going back to the reasons I like to write best. I like my characters. I like my worlds. I want to play in them and close my eyes and be a little kid.
Naive, you say? It’s a business, you say? Look, whatever gets you through it is okay with me. Live and let live. But I want to spend my year more happily, and I know this is going to do it. And if I don’t ever get published? Well, que sera, sera.
What a segway! That leads directly to number two.
2. Live my year more happily. Do what I want. When I want. More often. I will fall into my martyr tendencies, still, but I am actually going to make an effort to enjoy the life I have, while actually doing as much of what I can as possible. Yes, I can’t quit my job, especially in light of number one, but I can enjoy myself more there. And I continue to enjoy the good life with my husband. Some things, however, I do because they have been always been done, and you know, I will do less of that this year. I’m not going to do things unless I feel like doing them. I am going to stop trying to prove myself to myself by undertaking tasks and/or jobs I don’t want. I’m gonna think about what I’m doing before I do it. I’m gonna stop doing things that drain my energy instead of add to it. It’s going to be a very different year.
3. I’m going to be more capricious and spontaneous. I’m going to have more fun. Right now, I keep trying to reward myself with food, because it’s a quick fix for an unfulfilled life. I got no problem with exercise, but I do have trouble with food. So the trick, I’m almost certain, is to find that thing I’m missing. I gotta look harder if I’m not there, yes. I gotta take some responsibility for making this life, wherever I am, whenever I am the best life it can be.
So, there we are. Some of these changes will be easy. Some might make people sad. I want to be a better person because I’m enjoying my life, a healthier person because I’m enjoying my life.
4. And finally, I want to make something beautiful this year and share it with you. I am open to the possibilities of whatever form that will take.
Usually I don’t have resolutions, but I feel the need this year. I’ve been thinking ahead too much and not living in the now. I’ve been avoiding minor changes for convenience and the worry of offending others. I’d just as soon stop doing that. And I’d like to discover what could happen if I keep myself open to the universe.