You’ve Put Your Evil in my Pasta

Oh, Barilla Pasta. How I love your multi-grain thing spaghetti. I have a partial box in my cupboard, which I will finish and savor, BECAUSE IT IS THE LAST TIME I CAN HAVE IT.

The controversy is that the CEO of the Company Guido Barilla says some pretty anti Gay things. He’s pro gay marriage, but not pro gay adoption.

So…this is a foolish misstep on the part of Barilla, who probably shouldn’t have talked about families and commercials and anything like that. He should talk about, you know, pasta. However, just like the Chick-Fil-A, which WAS one of the healthy ways I could enjoy fast food, I can’t support this kind of foolish, not only for the public good, but also because of Lisa. What would my best friend, who is pretty BI think of me if I kept eating anti-orientation pasta? Okay, what would I think of myself, if I kept eating anti-orientation pasta?

Look, guys, advertisers, in this time, you’re going down if you can’t get the changing social program. Eventually old paradigms go away, and new ones take their place. You should be thinking about PR very seriously.

So, I have regrets. I hate whole wheat pasta. I have tried many kinds. Multi-grain was my compromise. And now, now I am at sea. I must experiment, and there’s gonna be a WHOLE lot of bitter pasta in there. Oh, sure, I can’t get a decent chicken sandwich (with crucial pickles) anymore, but time has kind of healed that wound (sob!)

Get with the program, you guys! Be open and caring and anti-discriminatory, and then, again, pasta.

Koch Brothers, you’re different. You funded neo-con principles and helped an administration kill thousands of people. I’m never going back to Northern. Not even if you come out as pro-gay as Harvey Milk. Just so you know.

ETA: Mr. Barilla has issued an apology.

Author: Catherine Schaff-Stump

Catherine Schaff-Stump writes fiction for children and young adults. Her most recent book, The Vessel of Ra, is the first book in the Klaereon Scroll series. She is currently working on its sequel, as well as penning the middle grade adventures of Abigail Rath, monster hunter.

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