Tips for Self-Care in the SF/F Community

I was going to write a high-powered article about integrity and how much other people mattered in the science fiction community and your career, and then I realized I was 51, I had been working on my novel and a couple of scripts, and I was about out of steam.

So, instead of being witty, let me just point you, in vaguely twitter like fashion, to some guidelines that I have occasionally swerved from, much to my chagrin, but overall have served me pretty well as I try to take care of myself while interacting with other genre folk. I come from a background where people had pretty much convinced me that I had no worth beyond my accomplishments. I am not a psychologist, nor do I play one on television, but this plan of self-preservation concocted with my counselor, helps me do the occasional sanity check.

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1. If you find yourself talking to your husband, and saying a phrase like, “He’s okay, except he–“, be grateful if you have a husband who reminds you that if you have to add a but, probably that person is not okay.

2. Everyone deserves another chance. But not necessarily a chance after that one. And probably not a third chance. And if they get a fourth chance, you might take a look at that and your own mental health. Because at some point, it’s called enabling.

3. If something doesn’t feel right in your gut, listen to it.

4. No one is more important than you. This is not meant in an egotistical sense. It is meant in a self-care, self-preservation sense. If someone tries to suggest otherwise to you, please look at 2 and 3.

5. Popularity is for junior high. It is not the sole measure upon which you should seek out relationships in publishing. No, really. No one can really make or break your career. Everyone gets a different set of opportunities.

6. Someone might not like you, for whatever reason. You might not like someone, for whatever reason. Move along. Nothing to see, then.

7. Be careful and discreet. Limit the circle of people you need to confide in. The world is shrinking. As Marko Kloos says, “Don’t get caught with your ass hanging out.”

8. Don’t make everything about your book. As Jim Hines says, “Don’t be that guy.”

9. If someone harasses or bullies you, you’re probably not the only one that person has bothered. If the offense is severe, talk until someone in authority listens to you. If not, well, number 4 and maybe number 7.

10. Social graces are important, kids. Be nice. It costs you nothing to be nice.

These careful reminders have been brought to you by someone watching recent events in science fiction as a public service announcement.

Better yet, get off line. You have better things to do. Go write your book. Me? I’m gonna pick up the aforementioned husband. Because that’s the way I role.

Author: Catherine Schaff-Stump

Catherine Schaff-Stump writes fiction for children and young adults. Her most recent book, The Vessel of Ra, is the first book in the Klaereon Scroll series. She is currently working on its sequel, as well as penning the middle grade adventures of Abigail Rath, monster hunter.

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